I heard you got brochitus -- I'm sorry to hear that. That's rough. I have had a bit of chest cold myself this week -- I really wanted to escape from work today to go rest, but my boss was really uptight about our lagging project schedules, and I not only worked with this hacking cough and low-grade temperature, but I had to work late again too. Both of my 2 S's have been sick over the last two weeks, first S6, then S2. S2 is only now getting back to normal -- he wasn't eating too well this past weekend when I had them; it really started to bother me. Fortunately, he's usually a pretty stout little fella', not fat but stocky, so he has enough baby fat to carry him through his temporary lack of hunger.
Am I going to talk to W about my convo with S6? Under normal circumstances, when W would be in her right mind, I wouldn't think twice about it. But W is so consumed with being "right" and in such utter denial, anything I say to her would have the opposite effect. Sometimes I just cannot believe this is the same person I married and lived with for 16 years.
Just tonight was a perfect example. We haven't been talking too much lately, mainly because I have refrained from volunteering any information that is not relevant to the upbringing of our sons. And I am desparately trying to stay away from R talks. She hasn't volunteered any info either.
Well, another tragic event is unfolding in my family's lives again (I am not sure how much more we can all take.) My brother's mother-in-law (my brother's W's mother) tried to commit suicide last week and they have been through a lot of turmoil in trying to get her looked after (she has a lot more severe psychological problems than they had thought.) I remembered how upset W was that I did not immediaely tell her about my own mother's apartment building burning down; so I mentioned about my SIL's mother to my W. Up until the bomb, my W and my brother's W were pretty good friends, but afterwards my W won't talk to my SIL anymore. But i thought W would still want to know about my SIL's serious situation.
I mentioned that SIL's mother is bipolar; W had to interject that SIL's mother was manic depressive. Me: "Um, okay -- so she's bipolar and manic depressive; and..." W: "No, they're the same thing." Me: "What?" W: "Manic Depression is the same thing as Bipolar Disorder." Me: "No, wait. Bipolar Disorder is just an extreme form of Manic Depression, with wilder mood swings, isn't it?" W: "No, they're the same thing. Hey, I should know -- I am a nurse." Me: "And that means you know all about Psychology?" W: "Oh, wait, I forgot -- you're God. You couldn't possibly be wrong, because you're always right!" Me: "Me? No, I don't know about anything. Forget I said anything. I don't know why you find this silly point to be so important ."
Yes, I know. She baits me so easily. But it demonstrates that she wants so much to be able to prove something over me; for her to be proven right and me to be proven wrong. I should have just given her the point, and gone on. W managed to derail me from explaining the situation to her, so she could understand the pain her former friend, my SIL, is going through. But I guess the body-snatchers won't let their victims have nothing more than a passing fancy at their humanity.
I really worry for S6. S2 is still young, and there's still time for him to recover, assuming our family finds that miracle and puts itself back together. But now I see that S6 is starting to see the separation for what it really is. The bloom is off the rose. Now that Summer has drawn to a close, no longer does Daddy's apartment seem the amusement park it once did. No longer does the shifting from one domicile to another seem like a grand adventure. He's figuring out that Mommy's promises that things would be better is not quite so. I believe he's going to come to the conclusion that he would rather have both his parents available at any given time.
It's too bad that my naive, innocent little six year old, with his Asperger's Syndrome and his sensory problems, is closer to seeing reality than his supposedly adult mother.
I'll make this prediction: when S6 begins to see things as they really are -- Daddy's forced to be apart while Mommy works more and more hours and spends more of her dwindling free time with her "friend" -- he will begin acting out and maybe even outright complaining. And when W hears what her S says, she will blame every bit of it on me.
You know, I really believe I can forgive my W for the A and for the harsh treatment of me. But I am going to have a very difficult time forgiving her for what all this is doing to my sons.
