Was the EA the first time that you encountered an issue with H regarding his interest in OW? Were there any previous episodes of subtle ( or not so subtle) flirting? ( Flirting is not really the word I am looking for...more like friendship/interest that made you feel uncomfortable).
It's much more complicated but here is the nutshell. My XH had an issue with needing external validation from women. He also had a need to have others lead him.
I did compliment him but my compliments meant little to him since I was his wife. I also refused to always take the lead and yet times where I did lead, I led in a way he didn't like.
His first EA was intense and left me upset. There was NOTHING romantic about it but it did leave me very uncomfortable and I did worry that he would be susceptible if developed a similar friendship someone who DID have other plans for their friendship. But he thought I was being dramatic. But then the second EA happened and the rest is history...
ETA: You know I always forget to give some context and timeline to the story. After his first EA friendship we were kind of rough for awhile, then things started to get better and we were moving ahead enough that we were starting to try to start a family that November 2003 then after 2 months he seemed to panic a little. He had been the one from the start that was always "ready" for kids so I figured it was just him realizing the reality of kids and wanting to take a little time to sort it out. Things really seemed okay (the only issue I was aware of is that I hated my job and it bothered him that I hated it)and then in March or April things started to turn south and by May he told me that our marriage was in trouble. I found out later, on Christmas Eve, that his affair began in March.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
