H wants D

[Grace_O]

I'm also laying down my weapons and trying really hard not to be angry w/H.

Just make sure you don't bottle that anger. I know you do yoga and that's helpful.

[inmyplace]

Thanks, breton. I assume by dragging feet that you mean things like if you get a notice to reply in 3 weeks, you will use the full three weeks. That kind of thing. Correct?

Also, I definitely agree that anger has to go in all situations. I found my anger hurt one person...me.

Good luck.

IMP

[forward]

Yes, IMP, that's what I need. With that and some space between us, I feel as if I will be able to have less anger and that should help.

I'm going to add--I decided to give it my best shot. I'm going to try to save the marriage.

But I also feel that I may be nearly out of steam.

When H left, he said something that infuriated me (and that I found odd). Said his lease was 13 months "and that should be enough time."

For what? For him to have his fun? For MLC to wear off? I don't know.

Didn't look too happy tonight. D1.5 is now going to his apartment 2x/wk. I think he'd better get used to having her in his space, buying her food, etc..

[inmyplace]

breton,

I know this stuff sucks, but you just do the best you can. No matter what happens, you will come away with a better understanding and love of yourself.

IMP

[forward]

IMP, as you know I am very into me as of late <g>.

Am mulling over something new to do on my night out this week.

[inmyplace]

breton,

What are your ideas?

[forward]

Well, I was hoping to find a meetup of something that actually interested me, but I couldn't find anything on the night I have the sitter.

For now, I am just going to go to bookstore and read. But I'm going to get back into tennis. Just need to find out the story w/when the lessons are on.

[forward]

Saturday night and I have a babysitter and I am going out w/some mom's group here!! I am very happy about this. Usually little D1.5 sleeps then anyway so I can have some time to make new friends/meet new people and do not have to feel bad about not being w/D1.5.

I also have a new dressy shirt to wear and a new haircut!!

[inmyplace]

Sounds like a good plan to me, breton. Have a great time.

IMP

[forward]

MC session 3.

H says he does not want to dredge up past and does not want to go any more. He was angry (C favors me as she is F) and is not happy about the next session. But frankly, I feel better so I do not care if it upsets him.

H is to watch D1.5 in his place now. I don't think he is too happy about that (it means that he will have to buy food in consideration of her and he will have to shop for her), but I feel as if having some space to myself will be good. After I said that, H lashed out saying he wanted D. I mentioned that H's whole running off was in an "I'll show YOU" kind of way. And I think that is the case.

He was the one who cleaned and he used to complain about me constantly. Now it's like he purposely leaves it as messy as possible (again, "I'll show YOU") when he cares for D1.5. So I don't want him here any more. I don't want to come home and have to clean up after him. I also don't want to take D1.5 up to his apartment. It's mostly because I will be in a hurry to get to work--but it's also because I don't want to see his girlfriend's things there or run into her.

I am going to tell H that I have been afraid to be honest w/him regarding my feelings for some time because H has been so angry at the world and has had such dramatic reactions.