new here and really worried

[Forrest Gump]

First to GD I was implying that you seem to have come around. You have become OK with yourself. You have walked through it and now can hold your head high. Alot of us just arent there yet.

Littlebitlost

I guess I need to explain myself a little bit more. My thoughts are random and come so fast I have a hard time getting them all in.

Forrest...you do not have this right. I did not leave my H for anyone. I was not involved with this EA other than as a sounding board for my frustration. He has not been 'something better'. My H has made alot of changes, true, and yes they are very attractive to me. I have alot of respect for him standing up for himself instead of laying down and letting the world walk all over him...even with me.

Is this not the basic premise of a EA. You were telling this other man about why you were "frustrated" instead of telling your husband. I imagine you were explaining it to him alot better than you were your husband. I doubt that your husband ever felt you were walking over him while you were there. It is who he is/was. You rolled over him with a steamroller when you left. This begs the question.. What is your Love Language? If you do not know you can search for 5 love languages on google and there is a 30 sec assesment you can take.

I dont need 'someone'....I need my husband. I know I have work to do and this is what I am doing now.

Maybe a bad choice of words on your part. Maybe its the truth. I said it was not gonna work for you and you said you "need" your husband. You have to not make him think you "need" him. You are saying it so I gotta think you are showing that to him. Your responce to Cliffy points it out again.

"In the Rain" yes it can mean vunerable. It can also mean carefree. In you husband "taking care" of you. He was showing you the way. Ever heard "Do unto others as you would have them do to you"? What was missing from your marriage? I have an idea but I will hold onto it. I once asked my wife "How many times have we sat each other down and said... This is what I need"? Her answer with alot of other stuff was "I thought you should know me" We have all made mistakes. Hence we are all "Here" together.

I hope I clarified my thoghts. If not just let me know and I will spin them some more. See even the way I describe my thoughts is chaotic.