I bought some sexy clothing when M was really bad and I was desparate. Surely that's not ME and now the clothing are all sitting in the closet :-)
Ourcrisis, I understand how you don't necessarily feel comfortable in those sexy clothes, but make sure you still wear them once in awhile when going out on dates with your H. Every so often it's good to remind him what a hot number he has!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.