That is always the case when only one spouse posts here.
I know far more about Hairdog than I do of his wife, because Hairdog talks about himself, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the funny. I give this more credit than I do about his analysis of his wife, though his version is the only account I can take into consideration. As is yours. But he does not spend most of his time here analyzing his wife. He spends most of his time spent here discussing how HE THINKS/FEELS/ACTS/RESPONDS given a set of circumstances. His wife is a part of that discussion. Not THE discussion.
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I did this to. But even my own analysis of myself can be wrong. If your analysis of yourself was not wrong at some point, you would not have mistepped with CAC.
Well... that is the whole point of this forum. Unless I admit to myself and acknowledge that I have misstepped... everyone just thinks I'm too self-involved/self-righteous to hear anyone else. It doesn't mean my self-analysis is/was wrong. It means I didn't apply it in an effective manner. I know better. I fcked up. I apologized because I know I screwed up. It doesn't mean my SELF-analysis was incorrect. But maybe it is. Depends.
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Burg challenged why I thought with certainty there was something fishy. I am still certain there was something fishy. That is how I saw it. If another situation comes up like that I will think it is fishy. This is no different that Nop saying he will “ferret out an affair.” Certain situations smell fishy to him too.
That doesn't mean he is right. It means he smells fish. And that is all that it means. He does not take it to the point of accusing someone of lying. He may not agree, but he doesn't press why he is smelling fish is MORE valid than a person's POV. You may not think you are doing this, and you may not be... but this is how you are coming across. To a majority. If it were one person saying this... eh. If you have two people... well... maybe... you have a multiple number of people telling you the same thing. That is all. Do with it what you will.
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And what if I AM doing just that? What if they are getting the Cobra version of things but that version is not what they like to hear? Why do you assume that I am somehow twisting the truth?
I don't think you are twisting the truth. I think you have been quite honest and vulnerable... on things with which you are willing to share. (Miniscule) Cac is being honest. About the 1/100,000th of him that he feels safe and willing to share. You cannot help someone who is unwilling to 'go' there. He doesn't want to go there. Fine. Cool. I can't help. But my empathy and tolerance of his gripes regarding his M and sex life are pretty much gone, too. Just as it is with CeMar.
The Cobra version of things I am talking about... is not how you see the world out there... but how you see and feel the inner world of Cobra. Even Blackfoot lets out more about himself than you do, and he doesn't let out much. That's what people are talking about.
That's an observation. Not a judgment. Just something to think about.
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I can understand this from most people except she-who-shall-not-be-named.
Okay... but I'm wondering why? What does that get you? That the NOPs tag team? Of course they do, they are married. They ARE on the same team (which you cheered for when you saw the Cac's doing this recently.)
Why you would ever think someone you don't know... interacting on an anonymous BB... and has specifically hunted down and selected YOU, above anyone else... would WANT and actively work toward your M failing, and on top of that, derive PLEASURE from such activity... is no where in my realm of understanding... not even remotely. I ask you to clarify, and you won't. You sound paranoid. Fine. Since you won't discuss, and my interpretation of actions does and will continue to go unchallenged and unexplored... my opinion reigns. And will color all perceptions of you. (Except that they don't, but that is not what I'm discussing here).
Many, many more of such perceptions, as reported to you by countless folks, goes unexplored. Because you are unwilling to go there, you feel attacked. I get that. But what I am trying to tell you is... if you aren't will to clear it up... you will continue to feel attacked. If you want to feel that way... fine. If you wonder why you are not being understood... you've been told. Can't help any further than that.
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Then you haven’t listened much to me. It been a little while since I spoke about our sitch in detail, but I have discussed all that is going on in my M.
I didn't say I haven't been listening. I'm trying to... convey what I think I am hearing from other people here... in a way you might get... so if you feel so inclined, you can attempt to be more clear.
If not... NBD.
Just a FWIW... people tend to have much more respect for you when you are willing to do yourself that which you ask of others. You have done this... but it isn't a one time deal, or even an every now-and-then deal. You do it everyday... you show people that you are doing yourself what you ask of others. "Let me show you.... Me." (Not your wife, or your kids) THEN you ask them to do. kwis?
