because everything you say in regard to ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL is based solely on your perception of right and wrong.
Everything anyone says is based on that person’s sense of right or wrong. Do you use someone else’s values when you make statements to another person? No, you use your own. You can acknowledge that other person’s values, but whether you agree or disagree depends on how those values differ from yours.
So not only am I dealing with YOU, whom I don't know because you never talk of him, I am also dealing with another person, whom I don't know, because I only know her through second hand account. Lots and lots of unknowns there.
That is always the case when only one spouse posts here.
Now. If you had said what you had said abvoe, and then in bold, instead of using your W as an example, you used something from YOURSELF, your life, your foo, your struggles, your realizations... as an example... I will accept, willingly, your version of self-analysis. It is YOU, afterall. Who would know YOU better than... YOU? And THEN we can discuss things.
I did this to. But even my own analysis of myself can be wrong. If your analysis of yourself was not wrong at some point, you would not have mistepped with CAC.
This stuff you've got going on with Burg... you ask, well why wouldn't I see it that way, based on x, y, and z? Well I don't know, other than the fact that Burg showed up and said that isn't what happened. It came from the source. You choose to accept YOUR version over his, and why it was okay that you saw it that way to begin with. Fine, you did. Fine, you were incorrect.
Burg challenged why I thought with certainty there was something fishy. I am still certain there was something fishy. That is how I saw it. If another situation comes up like that I will think it is fishy. This is no different that Nop saying he will “ferret out an affair.” Certain situations smell fishy to him too.
You may think you are doing this...(sharing of yourself, your progress, your thoughts, feelings, etc., and giving examples from COBRA)... but people are telling you that that is not what they are getting from you.
And what if I AM doing just that? What if they are getting the Cobra version of things but that version is not what they like to hear? Why do you assume that I am somehow twisting the truth?
Hopefully you understand that, in people here telling you they are not getting the COBRA version of things, they are only trying to help you.
I can understand this from most people except she-who-shall-not-be-named.
We really don't want to hear where your wife goes wrong... we want to hear where Cobra goes wrong (and right), according to Cobra, and how you worked through that or built upon it
Then you haven’t listened much to me. It been a little while since I spoke about our sitch in detail, but I have discussed all that is going on in my M.
