Get me on a smoother ride....need advice - part 3

[SueS]

Thanks Everyone

Well, the water works started tonight on my way from work to daycare to get D3. I just sobbed. I hid my face so no one in traffic could see me. I know the ladies at daycare wondered when I walked in and my nose & eyes were all red. D3 is in her room watching a movie, so the tears are flowing again.

Talked to H for a brief second this afternoon. He just told me that the table/chairs I put up were nice and then he had to go....busy. I don't plan on calling him tonight. I don't want to do that to D3, but damn it, he can call us too. It's slow for him after 7:00 pm, so he can call.

My emotions are all over the place. I couldn't concentrate one bit at work today.....or for the past few days. I'm half tempted to go in and talk to my boss to tell him that I'm having issues at home. I have 2 bosses. One I could tell, the other I wouldn't want to, as he's having his own A. I want it to be the weekend so bad, but then again, the weekend means leaving and not seeing H or knowing what he's doing. Makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want my parents to know, but I just know that I'm going to break at some point at their house. I'd love to tell H.....okay, I'm leaving for the weekend but when I get back we're working on this. I know that wouldn't fly though.

Has anyone's spouse NOT talked to them? I've confronted H twice and I know he's angry right now, but I want him to talk to me....just at some point. I'm angry and sad and hurt and .....etc. I just want some damn normalcy in my life.....just for once! It's been two really tough years with us working different schedules, financial problems, my dad being ill.....but it was getting better....it really was.

Why is my H willing to share so much with me, communicate, have fun with me, be intimate with me, work as a team with me......but yet have an A? What am I doing wrong???

Well, I told my D3 that I'd get dinner ready and clean up the house tonight so we could go to the park tomorrow after work.

I'll check in later.

SueS