Now that I think of it, I think that was a cheap shot. No offense to Corri, but she did make CAC mad.
I didn't make Cac anything. He chose to get mad and he chose to respond. Separate issue.
How I went about it and my part in it are up for debate and analysis FOR ME, MYSELF and I. People give me their thoughts and input, and since we are on this particular BB, I'm thinking that most people do so with honest intent of helping me help myself. I take it into consideration. I don't feel judged, even by Cac. He let me play a part in his hurt and anger. He was as honest with me as he was capable, even in telling me to take a leap. I was honest with him. But I don't insist that he see it my way just because I think I am right. We agreed to have a conversation. He ended it. Done. I think I took some serious missteps. I owned it and apologized. It's all I can do. Hopefully, I'll do better next time. I have other thoughts on the matter, but they are really moot at this point.
This is where I think you are missing what people are trying to tell you.
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What you aren’t glomming onto is that some people haven’t done the work you describe or may think they have, but only did so at a superficial level. Let me explain. My W has also stated for years that she has worked through her FOO...
I was with your right up until you used your WIFE as your example. You have assessed and judged her. Then you ask people to accept your judgment and assessment as truth and fact. Then you go into detail about why you are correct.
This is flawed logic, because everything you say in regard to ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL is based solely on your perception of right and wrong. So not only am I dealing with YOU, whom I don't know because you never talk of him, I am also dealing with another person, whom I don't know, because I only know her through second hand account. Lots and lots of unknowns there.
Now. If you had said what you had said abvoe, and then in bold, instead of using your W as an example, you used something from YOURSELF, your life, your foo, your struggles, your realizations... as an example... I will accept, willingly, your version of self-analysis. It is YOU, afterall. Who would know YOU better than... YOU? And THEN we can discuss things.
This stuff you've got going on with Burg... you ask, well why wouldn't I see it that way, based on x, y, and z? Well I don't know, other than the fact that Burg showed up and said that isn't what happened. It came from the source. You choose to accept YOUR version over his, and why it was okay that you saw it that way to begin with. Fine, you did. Fine, you were incorrect.
Where is ownership of that? Is Cobra capable of that? That's where the... mistrust enters, at times? Self-accountability. You say you are... but it is never seen or felt by others. That's where saying one thing and doing another can cause 'trust' issues.
You may think you are doing this...(sharing of yourself, your progress, your thoughts, feelings, etc., and giving examples from COBRA)... but people are telling you that that is not what they are getting from you. Hopefully you understand that, in people here telling you they are not getting the COBRA version of things, they are only trying to help you.
We really don't want to hear where your wife goes wrong... we want to hear where Cobra goes wrong (and right), according to Cobra, and how you worked through that or built upon it.
