You may need to be a little more forceful with your H.... like dropping the kids off and telling him you need an hour or two to sleep and recover!
Another thing.... when he's living away from you make sure you copy out all receipts of money spent on the kids that you'll need reimbursement for. I used to do this, and I'd add a little note thanking him in advance and writing how appreciative I was for him taking care of this (and also add a little happy face). Eventually he found these bills completely overwhelming (taking care of mortgage, rent and utilities on two households) and became quite frantic about the whole money thing. That was a nice big slap of reality!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
