Hi Berto...yes...Rocky Racoon who stole food and stared point blank at his victims
I agree with OT. Another thought: because you ARE detaching from the ex, and are sitting on the proverbial pot with a new R, seems to me that the old "push-pull" comes into play. Your ex is trying to pull you back.
What you need to do (MHO only) is to make a clear cut decision what you want to do. Not necessarily choose one over the other, but really decide what kind of life you want to live and how you want to live it. Then make like Nike and do it. That will attract the right person right into your life if that is something you desire.
Simple lesson I learned: living in gray areas or indecision brought only more gray and indecision into my life. The more I decisive acted or did things I realized I desired in my life, the less gray and indecision there was in it. Got my act together, began consulting on a contract basis, hit the Y to work out on a regular basis, moved out of town, yada yada yada...and hey...what do I know? There's a stable R in the picture, the financial picture is much rosier, my relationship with the kids is great... I'm sure you get the gist here.
Oh...and this thought...your life ain't bad. It's just all in how you perceive it Lot of the folks around here have pretty warped exes anyhow. I also don't think we're ever "done" after a divorce. All that does is sever a legal relationship and tidies things up financially (well as close as it can get from what I've experienced). That person is in your psyche and your life no matter what, no matter how long there's no contact. Face it, you have kids together, you've had shared experiences, and you just can't sever the fact you've brought kids into the world together. Ugh...and I have to face two graduations with my RAMB next spring...I'm already preparing for that encounter in the realms of addiction-hazed narcissism But...I will face it and will enjoy the experience of a lifetime...seeing on kid grad with a BFA and the other with a PhD. I'll find someway of sharing it the ex somehow and live through it happily, as I'm sure you will with yours in the course of your family's life events.
Lot of the folks around here have pretty warped exes anyhow. I also don't think we're ever "done" after a divorce. All that does is sever a legal relationship and tidies things up financially (well as close as it can get from what I've experienced). That person is in your psyche and your life no matter what, no matter how long there's no contact. Face it, you have kids together, you've had shared experiences, and you just can't sever the fact you've brought kids into the world together. Ugh...and I have to face two graduations with my RAMB next spring...I'm already preparing for that encounter in the realms of addiction-hazed narcissism 
But...I will face it and will enjoy the experience of a lifetime...seeing on kid grad with a BFA and the other with a PhD. I'll find someway of sharing it the ex somehow and live through it happily, as I'm sure you will with yours in the course of your family's life events.
