BTW Heim, this is the kind of thing I was talking about last week: "We really could build a beautiful life together."
You *really* don't know what an M that would work for both of you would be like. You have really only started to scratch the surface on how the M was bad FOR YOU. You've not really confronted your own years of deep pain in that M that got you to the place you were in that M. You don't know how the changes you have both undergone in this process would play out in a new R. Maybe you could build a beautiful life together, maybe not. There is simply no way for you to be in a place to know that from where you are. If you can let go of the need to feel certain about the possibility of being able to build a beautiful life with W in the future, you'll be more open to getting to a more authentic place in the present. And, if you do that, you'll greatly increase your chances of building a beautiful life that includes a strong, vibrant, healthy, passionate R with your SO, who, of course, might very well be W (we hope), and might very well be someone else.
In a nutshell, try to have more of a beginner's mind about *any* potential R with W. That opens up a much bigger world of possibility than holding onto the comforting threads of an old fiction.
