Nope, I'd say it was very, very off target in most ways. I certainly do not have some particular black and white view that I think applies to all sitches. Indeed, I give different people very different advice. And, I doubt that those people I generally post to would consider me cruel, cold, or robotic. I have a pretty good sense that they would call me compassionate, giving, and incredibly sensitive to the nuances of their sitches.
The reason I post to Heim is because I think I can help him and I think he understands me. There is no need for me to edit my very direct style with Heim. Rather, he seems to understand and appreciate it.
But, you are correct that I often feel like beating my head against the wall when I see people involved in what amounts to clearly self-destructive behavior. There are plenty of cheerleaders around here to make people feel better about that behavior in others (and thereby in themselves). So, it isn't really useful for me to add my pom poms to the fray.
What you may see as black and white thinking from your perspective as someone in the middle of all this sh*t is in large part simply distance and a more objective perspective. It is a lot easier to see that the earth is round from space than from your front yard.
If anything, I try to disrupt the very black and white thinking on many points that is chanted as a mantra on these boards. It really keeps many people very stuck and when it does get them moving, it can get them moving in unhelpful directions.
Anyway, back to you Heim. It is entirely standard to feel like a dumbass. We've all been there. We all wanted to think that we were different from the other DBers. So, you have plenty of company among all the DBers who have pretty much shared your dumbassness to a T. There should be some good company among those peeps. So, if you can understand it in then, have compassion for them, recognize their strength, respect their intelligence, and so on, then DO THE SAME FOR YOURSELF.
