For what it's worth, I'm with Sara on the snooping. For me, at least, it was better to know. After all the strong emotions wore off, I was actually more compassionate, more kindly towards my husband. I had little, if any, respect left for him, but for some reason---pity, I guess---I was better able to treat him with respect---and he responded in kind. I'm not sure if I quite understand this dynamic, but my guess is that it is not so very rare.
