I feel like a dumbass because I know that anything other than being friendly towards her right now is pressure and pressure is the uber-enemy. It just stinks in that the more I think about myself, the more I feel love and understanding towards her and her feelings. I get, in many ways, where she's coming from. She's a good woman and was a good wife. I can see us being great together. In my head, I know I can't make her see it and that time and patience are my friends, because I am getting in shape and doing things to make me happy again. I feel better. Yet, I keep doing what I know I shouldn't do regarding how I act towards her. Ergo, Heim = dumbass.
Keeping things short and sweet is the best that I can do for now. I can't allow myself to keep doing this. Somewhere, I've gotta find the self-control and discipline that I used to have regarding many things and use it in a consistent, meaningful way for this.
The foot thing is a reference to something OT wrote on someone else's thread a while back [url=http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...true#Post679252 ]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...true#Post679252 [/url] (by the way, read this and you're dead-on regarding OT. Sad thing is, I feel the same way as she does reading threads from other folks. How could you . . . Don't do that . . . While at the same time, if I were reading my own thread I'd be screaming at myself.)
Would that tattoo be available as one of those kid jobbies for which you wet the back and it then slides onto your skin? I'll go for one of those.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
