Plank removed from my eye, too late for WAW? 6

[Heimlich]

Thanks, all three of you.

Sara, I don't think she's trying to manipulate me, but trying to keep me from getting my feelings hurt. What she doesn't understand is that not knowing is worse than knowing. Plus, I feel like a fool, looking for hopeful signs, if she has her head so far up OM's ass that his breath stinks when she burps. Of course, you know what, maybe it isn't what it seems. Maybe it's all innocent. Probably not, but who knows.

We've already been through mediation and I have no intention of changing the terms we've already worked out.

The reason I say is that technically it's not an A is that we are only legally married. There's no real M any longer in the sense of two people committed to each other's happiness. The fact that she's moving on with him, if that's the case, is tremendously hurtful. I know it reflects more on her poor decision making than on me, but, christ, it hurts.

Nugget,
I was about to wet myself. I had to stop and it was closer than anywhere else and no secluded trees in site. Going upstairs to her room, yeah, that's a huge backslide. However, dammit, I'm tired of being lied to. If she's going to see him and feels that she can build a life with him, why does she feel it necessary to hide it from me? I'm going to find out eventually, I'd rather know now than find out 3 months from now that the woman I love, still, and am trying to nudge back towards me is with someone else.

GD,

Yes, still interested in a ski event. Same stipulations, financial mostly, but definately interested. Yes, I know that if she is having the continued A, then she's just got to go through it. However, I have the right to know. I can't control her dating choices, if she chooses that, but if she's seeing him, I feel that I have a right to know. Especially since she sees me still in love with her. I've been doing my best not to push, not always effectively, but I think she owes me the truth here. I could handle, "BD, I'm going to see him again. I know it hurts, but I thought you had the right to know." I could respect that, at least the honesty behind it. The continued deceit, that's what I have trouble with.

Going to read up on the LRT, because I'm there. I still love her and if she said to me when I pick up the girls, I've been seeing him as more than a friend over the summer, but I'd like to give it a go with you now, I would. I understand how she got to where she is. If she's going to get with him now, after all that I've tried to share with her (in the early stages of DB when I didn't get it very well). She knows how I feel. She's seen me begin to change. She's acknowledged that she's never totally tried. She knows she's hurting our girls. She knows that I'm committed to her. If she still understands all of that and still decides to go to a man who had affairs with at least two married women (one while still married, though separated), then I don't know if I'm going to be there when this thing crashes and burns. Plus, I've a feeling it's going to last for a good 6 months, at least. That means he'll be introduced to my girls.

I know that I will never be replaced as their father. I'm a good daddy. But having him in their lives is going to confuse and hurt them, especially when the R crashes and takes my W down with it.

And, yeah, the Saints. Eeesh. It's one thing when you expect them to stink.

Bd