As Chrome said, I just need to talk it out sometimes.
Yes you do. And a professional therapist can be much more helpful than friends because you can vent and rage and scream and you don't have to hear about what a loon you were years later at a party. I really think you should seriously consider it.
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but I know that would disappoint a lot of folks too, so ... but some of the things I do....would just go undone b/c nobody else would do it. (long story) Somebody could do it, but more than likey....they wouldn't b/c I tried it once before and it just went undone. I have three (what I consider)"important" jobs and I'm on a couple of committees. That is pretty much my life and that is why I have clung to it b/c if I don't have that.....well, then I don't have much of a life at all.
If your life depended on you quitting your job at church, would you do it? What I am trying to say, is that if something is important enough, you will do it. If quitting your job at church means that you become a happier/better person and your M gets back on track because you have the time and mental and emotional energy to do what you need to do, isn't it worth it? I'm not saying "quit your job at church", but you need to evaluate what is important to you.
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Lordy, I'm stopping before I get to sounding pathetic again.
One of the first steps of getting out of depression is to stop associate your feelings/views/personal traits with words like pathetic. Anyone here think Sandi sounds pathetic? ... No ... Good, that's settled. Let's move on.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Make the offer, and let him make up his own mind whether he wants to, hmm?
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Besides, in case I need to remind you....I have been the one going and sitting next to him!
Shall I remind you, how immediately responsive he was to that?
Just show him that you are open to it, and see what happens.
PS: In a way that MALES UNDERSTAND, please. Not some vague female "hints", that you might interpret as an invitation, but he has no clue about. Remember, Males Are Dumb
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
Gee, I thought you fell off the face of the earth! I am so glad to hear from you. I did send you an email. That meant the world to me that you would give me that.
I did read your stitch and yes, I think we do have a lot in common. I was very worried when you suddenly left and I didn't hear anymore from you.
I understand a lot of what was warned to me about the OM in my life. In a couple of weeks, it will be my three month mark without contact with OM! It has not been easy, but it is getting a lot better. I will tell anyone that will just listen for a second to me that....that is the only way to start getting over him and to start healing and trying to get back a R with your H. You have to stop all contact....period. It won't work at all if you don't cut it off completely.
People that say they have to continue to work in the same place that they had an A with OP.......I just don't know how that can go on day to day.....I mean, it would be hell on earth! I know it is easier said than done, but for me.....I would have to find another work place b/c I would not be strong enough (I don't think) to handle it until I could get through that emotional grief or withdrawal.....whatever you want to call it.
Anyway........so good to see you back. Please stay with us b/c we need you! I need you! There aren't that many of us that are WAW (in heart) that stick it out on here...or at least I've not heard from that many. LBS can be hard of us....but we need to hear it from their POV to wake us up and get our eyes off our own pain long enough to see theirs.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Meh, that old hard shell is what got me into all this.
An important thing I had to go through wrt my own A was realizing that although it was a mistake, it was also an important life experience that gave me some things I needed to learn. Granted, that's the hard and less preferable way to learn those lessons, but in many cases the hard way is the only way a lesson can be learned. So while you certainly shouldn't glorify the A (i.e. that was true happiness even if it was wrong, blah blah), you also shouldn't turn it into some monster from your past that you hide from or a stick that you beat yourself up with constantly.
Anyway, that was something else I had to learn before I could begin to struggle my way out of depression ... which I am still doing.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Well, not much to post today about my stitch. I have been sick for the past seven days and it was just getting worse. Last night I got no sleep for coughing, sneezing....the entire comercial thing. so today I broke down and went to the doctor. He gave me a big shot in the rear and a prescription for pills.....so I sure hope it does the job.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
