The difficult thing about snooping is that sometimes you find information that you don't want to find, and this causes you to have great difficulty in doing all of the things necessary to have any chance of reconciling with your S. This new info you've discovered has made you more stressed out and less interested and motivated to do what is necessary to draw your W back. It caused you to more or less confront her about the OM again, and you got the response that you should've expected.
Heim, let this OP concern go. I know it's hard and is devastating to you right now, but you honestly need to let it go. That R will run its course, and you need to back off of it completely so it can. Your meddling in it will only cause it to get stronger and thereby prolong its inevitable demise. That R began in an unhealthy, immoral way, and the odds are HUGE that it will not last in the long run. She will eventually hit rock bottom, and when she does and she sees you looking good, being happy, strong, confident, independent, etc, she going to be drawn back to you, thinking to herself, "Damn! What was I thinking?!"
Quote:
For now, I think I'm done.
I've seen this from you enough to know that you're not done. You've been emotionally wounded again, but I know you're not dead to this sitch. Just back off and be Heim, for Heim, and that is it. Show her an emotionally strong man who will be okay (better than okay -- great!) with or without her.
I'm sure sorry for your discovery, Heim. I know it hurts like hell, and the thought of someone else replacing us in the lives of our kids is gut-wrenching too. I've felt that way too. When you wrote that I remembered that exact feeling when I had it. However, it gets better, and you will eventually come to realize that you are the only one that can ever be their Dad. You are the only one that can show them so much love, be there for them through thick and thin, etc. Remember that -- this guy or any other guy has nothing on you regarding your role as a Dad.
Take care, brotha -- if you need a break from here then take one. I took a bit of a brief vacation from here and it was much needed. Do for you -- we'll be here if/when you need us.
GD
Will you still entertain the idea of a DB ski trip? I'd love to get together with you and have one hell of a time! I was even entertaining the idea of a college bowl game day DB event, or Superbowl event...
