Plank removed from my eye, too late for WAW? 6

[Heimlich]

Just noticed Last thread locked, not much to report anyway until today.

Casey, my youngest is getting very clingy as the reality of the separation kicks in. That pretty much sucks.

On the R front, as OT keeps saying, there ain't no R. I think I'm done.
1. Forwarded photos of herself with OM from her work to her hotmail address in late may and mid june. She said they were old pictures. Forwarded date was may 27 and june 22 of this year.
2. She's spent tons of time on the phone with him in August.

I inadvertantly saw both of these things. The first, when I was trying to straighten out a credit card, jointly owned, that I was going to start using for me. The account was in her name, so I forwarded the change of password and junk to her hotmail, which was open on our PC. I noticed photos of the girls that I hadn't seen. Was scrolling up to look for more when I saw the photos of OM. Shock.
The second was a joint phone bill, which she had been hiding from me. Call that one pseudo-snooping.

3. Today, all out snooping. Needed to use the restroom on the way to gym and stopped at the house as the closest spot. For some reason, was compelled to go upstairs and paw through my W's drawers (literally, found a sample pack of birth control pills in her undies drawer). I have never done this before and wish to God I hadn't now. Three of the pills were taken. I've been fixed. Maybe she's using it to control her period, which used to be heavy and has been greatly variable in the past, however, why would it be hidden in her underwear drawer in that case?

So, yes, OT, you were right. Hooray, my W is almost certainly having or planning to continue her A with OM.

Sent her an email, asking her to just tell me one way or the other if she's seeing him romantically. Told her that either way I love her but the uncertainty is eating me alive. Her reply, "I'm no longer entertaining these questions." Why the hell can't she provide me the simple courtesy of a simple yes or no? I need to hear it from her. She's denied it verbally for a number of months (I've asked 3 or 4 times since the second ILBNILWY bomb). I can't do this if she's going to see him. I just can't. The thought of this "man" tucking my girls to sleep twists my stomache.

As of now, DBing as it is and properly should be understood, is all about me. I'm going to remain friendly and cooperative with her, but we are no longer friends. Friends don't hurt each other and lie to each other like this.

For now, I think I'm done. Maybe she'll come to realize in a few months or longer that I never was that poor of an option. Maybe we'll even reconcile at that distant point. For now, if the circumstantial evidence that is pointing toward the A direction is true; I'm done (though, technically, it's not an A. I know that.)

A shame. We really could build a beautiful life together.

Thanks for the support over the past few months to all of you. Not sure how often I'm going to be here in the next few days or beyond.

Best to all,

BD