Stop giving so much. He is a bottomless pit right now and you will eventually feel very resentful about that so it's best to pull back and focus on you and your child. Also, this will pull away his "safety net." If he no longer feels you underneath to catch him when he falls, then he has to come to grips with that change in his situation.
His anger and any meanness is there to make you angry and validate what he's doing. If you detach and pull your feelings away you will be less likely to react and he will eventually defuse. Detaching is easier said than done in the beginning and it can take time. Just reading it may not get you there. You will know you are there when he does something really mean or accuses you of something, and you have very little responding feelings. Almost like an outsider observing it from a logical point of view. I hope that makes sense.
You will definitely need patience for this. Think baby steps, think time. Also, if he's still involved with OW that can make a big impact on your relationship. My guess is if he's angry and pulling away to the level you describe he may still be involved with someone else. What is your intuition telling you? One thing that may be helpful to keep in mind is OP can be like a drug and MC may not be as effective as expected when that third person is part of the equation (or until things settle down and reality surfaces). So.... it may be best to keep expectations low for now. Truly focus on you and trying to enjoy having more time for yourself. Try to see the positives of separation. (i.e. A nice big bed to hog for yourself, can stay up reading all night and no one is telling you to turn off the lights, don't have to make full-course dinners every night, etc...). Look for the silver linings and appreciate those little positives where you find them.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
