Mickey - I always read your thread, although I don't often post. I posted elsewhere today that I think one of the reasons they are so angry with us is that at some level they are not accessing, they still love us deeply. But in order to run away, and in most cases to have the new r [and to escape from dealing with their own emotional damage] they re-write history.
So they are in denial [MUCH more than a river]. I also think they are ashamed of how horribly they are behaving - a bit of them knows this. So they are a seething mass of conflict and involved [usually] with a complicated and needy person.
I am not blaming the OP [although at times I do!] but most people that get involved with a married person are hardly emotionally firing on all four cylinders are they? I mean since being on my own Ihave seen how easy it would be to de-stabilize someone else's mariage and get a relatively housetrained man. But there is simply no way that I would do this. It would be horrible, and in the end do no-one any good. So someone who is prepared to do this [and I don't buy the believing WAS lies] is pretty emotionally stupid and messed up. In fact the perfect partner for our WAS.
Yes, I know that some of them stay together and make some sort of go of it, but I wonder about teh quality of a relationship that is born out of deception and destruction. What they both have done to others they are capable of doing again, and each of them knows this.
in the meantime we sail along, looking elegant and paddling furiously underneath. These boards enable me to contine to sail along gracefully [I hope] because they represent a part of my furious paddling!!
