Hope - I am sorry that you are facing the the third alone - even the fact that we feel less married is cometimes hard to cope with.
I loved being married to my h, and I believe that he did to me. But they rewrite history. Of course they are the losers, because by rewriting history they invalidate all their past happiness to validate their current grab for happiness.
I am almost 2 years post bomb, my h shows no signs of emerging from the tunnel. In fact I would ay he is now crazier in some ways than he has been. In other ways he is attempting to reconnect with his family. I think that like your h, the damage lies very deep, and that acknowledging what they have done to their spouses takes a long time, and a lot of courage. After that there is so much healing to do.
I hope that the conversation that you had with your h did go some way to giving you some closure, by acnowledging that it truly was all about him. That conversation resonated with me, as I feel from the few conversatons that we have had, and also by what my h has been doing, that your h's emotonal experience is quite similar to what my h has been, and is still going through.
I believe that you are still an important part of your h's life, and that whatever the outcome for your future relationship, you have a role to play, if you want it.
