Need some advice on how to approach a very sensitive topic – that I am not dangerous to my wife’s sexual health.
I have lived apart from the W for 1.5 months and one reason given was lack of passion in bed. The R had been rocky before she dropped the bomb, but before this we still made love weekly or better usually at my initiation. She would go off with oral stimulation only, but seemed to enjoy intercourse with more thrusting while in the missionary position, so I would oblige. She just didn’t get very hot but wouldn’t give me direction, instead expected me to guess from her responses to what I did. I admit that I should have read up on while I was still in the house, but seems like she gave up long ago.
After she dropped the bomb, it was a few months living together with little sex. The last time is the problem. This is one big reason for the breakup and has been said in so many words. It was my chance to show her that I still loved her. After an extra long oral episode with success, the thrusting missionary ensued. No fireworks for her as usual, but she enjoyed the hard and fast like old times. Problem was that the next morning, she had symptoms of a yet another UTI. Pain got excruciating so doctor was consulted who called it “vaginal trauma” and I am now blamed for being dangerous to her in bed. There was no problem the entire evening after the interlude, but since she is a WAW, the past has been rewritten in this department. Not that it makes much difference now because we are separated, but if my DB efforts work, this issue will have to be addressed.
How can I sensitively address this topic? Is there are credence to overthrusting as being dangerous? She wasn’t stumbling in pain afterwards or anything, at least until the next day. Any suggestions on reassuring her that I won’t be dangerous to her in bed? Can I get a passionate/sensitivity certificate to show her that this won’t happen again? I can find nothing on the net about “vaginal trauma” so maybe this is her excuse for her unhappiness with my not instilling sufficient passion. It’s a very touchy topic. How to employ DB principals? I’ve ordered books on reviving passion.
