On Sunday, I got a chance to talk to S6 while S2 was taking an afternoon nap. I set S6 down to do some of his homework while I began my own homework (reading assignment for my bible studies class). I know my W has been taking advantage of moments like this alone with S6 to shake him down for info on me and how I treat my S's. So, while I was careful not to use my son to pry out information about W's behaviors (that would be inappropriate and plain wrong, even if W may be doing the same), I did start asking S6 how he felt about the events going on in our lives. At first he gave a short little automatic reply typical of him, saying "fine." But surprisingly, he then backed up and elaborated further, correcting himself. He said, "Daddy, I don't like going back and forth between the house and the apartment. It's hard." I was quite surprised at the sudden change in tone of my six year old; his candor and earnestness was as strong as I had ever heard from him. He said, "I really like the apartment -- it's got a swimming pool. But I don't like having to go back and forth."
Not knowing what to say, I tried to commiserate, "Yes, I know, S6. It's not easy on any of us. I really wish we didn't have to live apart like this. I did not want this to happen."
S6: "Mommy says its because you two always fight. And she did not want your fighting and yelling to hurt my ears." Me: "Is that what Mommy has told you?" S6: "Yes, she knows that your arguments hurt my ears, so that's why you live elsewhere." Me: "Oh, Is that so? Well, your daddy did not want any of this to happen. It was not his idea. Mommy is just not happy anymore with Daddy, and that's the real reason Daddy has to live apart. Please don't ever think that I wanted any of this to happen." S6: "I know." Me: "Whatever happens, remember that your Daddy loves you and your little brother. Remember that Mommy loves you too."
