Now what? Wait it out?

[Tara_9]

Thanks growingme--I've e-mailed, just look for my name in the subject heading.

So...today was not good. I knew she was with the OP for the nigh, all day today, and even as I write this tonight. I know exactly what she's saying and doing because I've been there. She's falling more for this person every day and she's just believing whatever comes out of the OP's mouth. I can't say much because it just sounds like I'm trying to get her back (which I have to say that I am--with the intent that we can work on what went wrong to start new), but it's so hard to stand by and know that she's buying what the OP is selling, and vice versa.

After reading my above post...how bad do you think I blew it? I added to the mess today I think. She e-mailed to tell me that she'd be going to a mutual friend's b-day on Friday and asked if I was going. I was supposed to, but she had also promised to respect my space and not be out where I was until I was ready. I assume she wants to bring the OP. I am not ready for that. I will never be ready for that. I wrote back saying that I would be going to the party and that I'd really prefer she didn't, as she had promised. I then went on to see as long as she was seeing the OP that I wouldn't be comfortable socializing with her. It's just too much for her to expect me to swallow. I then went on to say that the OP was not invited anyway (true, actually specifically not invited), so I thought that given the circumstances that I shouldn't be the one to stay home on account of her hurtful actions. How could she possibly expect me to go somewhere where she's with her new person? She knows I want her back. So I'm not saying it, but she still knows. How can she be so cruel? Not a month ago we were making plans for our annual (Canadian) thanksgiving dinner, and now she's taken up with this person. She's there right now!!! She's sending the OP cards and notes and really pursuing. Is there hope when this is going on to this extent? It kills me that she insists she's so grounded and happy after about 10 seconds of alone time between me and the OP. She has never been so blind before. Why now? She said that if she hadn't met the OP she'd still be here coasting, at which point I said that wasn't a good enough reason to leave if she needed an excuse.

Friends are saying to pack up her stuff, get her to pick it up, send her her half of the bills, get a new phone number and don't give it to her, do not respond in any way to any more texts/e-mails, and cut off contact entirely to let her see what she's missing. But I'm afraid it would be a case of out of sight, out of mind. They think I'm stupid if I don't do all that and if I don't do it, then I'm just wallowing and asking for her to hurt me. But it's not that simple. This isn't a criminal--it's someone I love and care about and want to work things out with. But how can I do that with the OP in the picture and getting larger than life every day? To make matters worse, the OP's b-day is on the 30th, so you know there'll be a great big romantic celebration for that. Knowing she's with the OP makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I just want to tell her to stop, just please, stop what she's doing before it's too late. I see her this Thursday, and I have visions of doing just that, begging her to please stop--can't she see how much it's hurting me? I keep thinking maybe she'll get it, but I know she doesn't care about hurting me. All she cares about is the high she's having right now. This is not good. I have to have a game plan before I see her. How can I compete against this fantastic OP who has no bills and no cares, who plays sports 7 days a week, and paints, and is an architect, and has nothing to do but go out and party, while I do my few sports and hobbies that I can squeeze in between woorking like a maniac to pay the bills she left me with!! How do I compete with someone whose life isn't even real?