This is tuff for me. Maybe this is part of my problem. I am gonna lay it out from my mindset and you point out the issues. Maybe I am still a DAM (Dumb A** Man) and I don't get it.
Breif synopsis coming.
You had "The man of your dreams". The caretaker. Time goes on everything ok... Then you decide that "there is something better" and roll out. "The something better" is still in your life as of a couple of days ago. "Man of you dreams" has now somehow gotten better. You really want it back. He has now become "The man all women dream of".
Think back on you leaving. What could he have done to "bomb" you? My answer, while it is coming slowly to me, is nothing. I have learned nothing. I don't have and neither do the other LBS here have a OW/OM. We have placed our value in guess what.. "someone else".
This EA is he a "Lay over" or does he "stand up"? I actually just answerd my own question. You already showed me the way. From my perception and what you have wrote he is. Please tell me if I am wrong.
I am sorry for asking what I was missing. I have had a really long weekend and the past few days have been hectic at work. I had to reread everything here to find it.
The guy you left is not the guy you are coming back to. YOU effected a change in him. I will say the OW is likely a strong and independant woman. Everything he knew about changed the day you left. He by his own admission dosen't wanna be "that guy"
You have to be more strong and independant than her. That is your cross to bear. To me (again just a DAM) he has to see you standing on your own, naked in the pouring down rain. No outside help whatsoever. That will be his bomb.
On a positive note I will say I honestly belive he will tire of the strong woman quickly. He will feel smothered. I just gotta believe that the "role reversal" is a temporary thing. He can cover it up but he can't turn it off.
I will say this one more time. Please call me out if I am missing the mark. Don't go away thinking I am angry or pushing buttons. I wish I could point out all the positive things in your stitch. I see a lot in what you write. I will have to work on that. Its me. Read what you have posted. Get a glass of wine. Read what is here it took me a while to figure it out.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
