I dont know where W is at other than she has backed down somewhat from moving on with her life for what ever reason at the moment. As we all know reading anything into this is pointless ,it could be that she just cant find a suitable place to move to yet.
I am going through another low spot that I need to kick myself out of somehow. I realy started to drop into this last night and I was realy missing W and feeling quite rejected. I guess we all get that. Its a bummer of a place to be and feeling dull and unattractive at the moment. Luckily W is not around to see this.
Wish you were closer to this side of the world.....we could listen to Neil Young, prop up each other's PMA & get the most out of a good ol' DB session.
Quote:
feeling dull and unattractive at the moment. Luckily W is not around to see this
.
Yes, it is good that the WAS doesn't see us in this state. The consequences of showing our less than positive moments are pretty severe. It does seem that right when there's a low spot, something changes to turn it around right after...so hang on to all the forward movement you've gained. It's nice that we can come here during those low spots when the rejection takes it's toll.
You were there for me last night when I was in a very low spot; even while you were in your own. Thank you so much for reaching out to me.
We have all seen your committment, especially through your children. And the way that you have stood by her, not FOR her, as a friend...was truly amazing. Maybe if I had been able to do that...
You have risen above so much--your pain, pride, shock--while being there for your kids. How could she not notice? I think I copied an article that talks about "authenticity," and you have that.
Dave, sorry for the rough patch. I hope today brings a little more spring in your step. You are doing such a fine job and seeing some movement. You will find the clarity you need, but for now keep working on getting yourself revved back up. You da man!
Thankyou all for dropping in. I have said it before but the people who frequent this site and not only put the effort in to thier own issues but support others along the way are .... well i dont even have the words but you all know.
The good news is I am feeling much better today , My D had a problem with a friend last night and was quite upset , I used my DBing skills to support her and later we ended up playing a board game and laughing so that lifted me up as well.
Other than that there has been little change , W did ask to talk with me after speaking with D on the phone and tried to joke with me , it was lost on me at first because its been so long , then some general chit chat and then a request for help with some expenses . I agreed to help because it involved D and D had been excited about it. I let W know in a nice way , I think I said " Hey D is looking forward to this so I am happy to help out , I wouldnt want her to be disapointed"
I think a few things have caused me to feel worn down , one is being a full time father and also working full time . Spending evenings ironing is not my idea of fun. Also this has impacted on my ability to GAL so I am going to have to do better.
A few points/pointers: 1. Buy cotton/polyester blend clothes for work and hang them up after drying (no ironing).
2. Let the small stuff slide. Prioritize your time and just don't do the rest. Really, it will be OK!
3. Playing a game with your daughter and ending up laughing together is a life, you don't need to get one!
And an aside: One of my goals was to start playing violin again and to get S8 playing (he has been begging for 2 years). Today he finally made some progress and really enjoyed it (trying since May). He felt really proud at his accomplishments after feeling really sad that he could make progress more quickly. I am telling you, this shared sense of accomplishment with my son felt better than all of my other GAL activities put together. It's the small stuff that makes life worth living. ENJOY IT!
SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
And I hope that the kids have chores, to give you a hand. I try not to load up on the kids, but they are responsible for their own things, their rooms and their shared bathroom. Then, they each have one or two small chores each day (about 5--10 minutes worth). Every little bit helps.
And I haven't used my iron more than 5 times in 10 years--I'd rather sprint to the dryer and take things out while hot and hang them. Done. If it wrinkles after I wash and dry it, I give it away. Seriously.
I think I need to give myself more credit for what I am achieving. I have been keeping work on course , The house is clean and tidy , the Kids are fed cared for and as happy as they can be. I am also enjoying having the time to listen to music instead of having the TV on ( one big improvement as W is a TV watcher ) on top of this I had a health check and have improved my overall health as well.
So lots of positives.
Now an update.
I got home yesterday from being away working and W was home , had prepared a nice dinner . She was unusualy withdrawn though and left quickly before dinner. I was upbeat and happy , got W a coffee and played a game with D it was then she got up and left. Dinner was excellent and I sent W a txt message to let her know it was.
I am not trying to analyse whats going on in her head , I dont think she is any closer to resolving her issues and I realy cant concern myself about her , what shes planning , where she is at with OM . All I can do is keep working on Me , prepare for the worst ( have a plan ) , look after the kids.
My Goals for now.
Keep improving my fitness and lose that last 5kgs. Keep communication going with Kids and give each of them some individual attention each day. Make time for my friends. Make time for my favourite passtimes.
I looked at one of those dating sites last night as well. All that proved is that I am a long way from wanting to go there thats for sure.
By george, you got it man. Great goals! It is hard to not ask what is wrong, etc. or look to far into things. You are doing great adn I am glad you looked at the positives!
Seems you have a good grasp of where you are and are refocusing on what is important to Dave right now.
One comment on the fitness, I try to focus more on goals for what I can do than on the weight. This makes it more fun! I actually am on the other end now, trying to gain some back (muscle vs. fat).
Take care of your self, SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
. I agreed to help because it involved D and D had been excited about it. I let W know in a nice way , I think I said " Hey D is looking forward to this so I am happy to help out , I wouldnt want her to be disapointed"