Other than his moving out 5 weeks ago, how long have you been dealing with this? I ask this for a very specific reason.
This is the man you couldn't live without right? Is 5 weeks all you've got for him?
This ride SUX!! I get angry and hurt and depressed and all that too. There are days I think I can't do this another moment. Then I think of the man I married. I think of our D's. I think of myself. And I know there is alot of fight left in this dog. My H dropped the bomb 8 months ago. It hadn't been good for about 3 years before that (and nothing I could do seemed to make a difference). He never gave me any notice that he was ready to quit. In fact about 4 months before the bomb I thought we were making significant progress. Things seemed so much better.
So the bottom line is...Who are YOU? What do you want? Take your time and figure this out. If it's truly to be done, then it is. You have the power to make that decision. There is nothing you can to though except be happier, more confident, more at peace when he does contact you.
I'm curious about your never begging pleading or crying for him to come or stay home. Does he know you still love him and want this to work? I find it unusual that you never cried or pleaded. I didn't do much of it, but I did do it.
He definitely knows I want the marriage, no question. He knows that I forgive him for the things he has done, he knows that I love him unconditionally. 3weeks before he left, he was so excited planing for a baby with me, so that he would be a dad by father's day! then, he wants to be liberated.... I will wait forever for him, but I will still live my own life. I jsut want him to come back. He may have to do this by himself, but he doesn;t have to be alone....
You may need to be with him in spirit though. He has to do whatever he has to do and he doesn't want your help (sorry, I know that hurts).
Having your own life is imperative. Leaving a door (or window) open is fine. You may find down the road that you move further from that door. Someday you may shut it, you may not. Remember that choice is always yours.
I am the same person - I've taken great care to get back to who I was. He is very prideful, and I am worried that his pride will prohibit him from ever admitting maybe he made a mistkae leasving.....
That sounds so like my H (esp if you add in stubborn). I can totally relate. I read someplace here that you have to drop the lead and let them go. As hard as it is, I've come to believe it's the only way.
Sometimes, he even looks at me like he might remember he likes me.
