This is a horrible ride no matter how you slice it. I've heard that it's easier with them gone. I don't know my H is still at home. From my perspective it's really hard to have them here. It's not like he loves me or anything intimate is going on. Usually I think I have a pod person here. Mostly he interacts well with our D's and if that's the most positive thing that happens , well it's something.
I'm now going to say the words that may make you throw up....GAL. I know it's hard, but it's your survival we're talking about here. You need to become the best expression of you...for YOU. All of this takes TIME and PATIENCE. I never thought I would get through the day without cryong. Now I do. I never thought I'd be able to make plans that didn't include him....guess what? You'll get there. The best therapy for me has been walking and meditating. It helps me to clear my head and think about what I want and need for my life, regardless of who I share it with.
