"Thank you for this note. While it is not what I wanted to read, I respect you more for the fact you have written what you feel right now. I appreciate this was not an easy task, and it's up to me now to accept the contents and the tone of what has been written. I would like to explain a few things.
First, know one thing - I don't ever see myself filing for divorce from you, it's not my wish and it is hard to do that to someone I love & cherish so much. However, given your decision, we should agree and sign an official and binding financial separation agreement. That way, we both have clarity and peace with respect to our finances and shared responsibilities, and can concentrate on us, either together or apart, in the weeks and months ahead. Does that sound ok?
Second, it's hard for me to imagine that anyone in this world could love you or respect you as much as I do. And surely there can be no one in this world who wants to be by your side to support your ambitions in life as much as I want to be by yours. Indeed, my love for you remains eternal. I am hurting of course, because I want us to grow old together, and through some mistakes that I have made as your husband, you don't want that anymore and you don't want to trust that my recent changes are permanent. I have never denied that I should take 50% of the responsibility for the situation we are in, and recognize and understand that I have to accept the consequences of your reaction to that.
Equally, I know and trust in myself that those mistakes will never be made again in either my marriage to you, in my relationship with friends and family, or in another relationship with another woman. It feels tragic that you will only know deep in your heart once it is too late, that you were wrong to lose faith in me and in us.
For sure, you cannot choose the way someone feels about you – in the same manner in which I accept that you have chosen right now not to be with me, not to trust me, and not to see beyond the easy option, I have chosen a different path in the way I feel about you. It is a path where the love I feel for you will remain in my heart forever, and it is a love that is able to see above all the hurt and pain and resentment that you have thrown my way. Nothing you do will ever change those feelings – it is a love that allows me to turn the other cheek to everything that has gone on or is going on, and continue to hold the torch for us. It is a love that allows me to offer the hand of friendship to you despite your critical words and actions, and I want you to know again, that whatever the future holds for the two of us, I will always be willing to offer support whatever that may constitute, should you need it.
Now however, I will move on with my life because I accept your decision. If you do change your mind, I would ask that you reach out and ask me if I am 'still there' at that time, even if you think I might not be. I may just surprise you yet."
Thoughts, did I say the write things, is there a need for my to say more. We are meeting for lunch on Friday and I'd really appreciate viewpoints good and bad, about what to do next here..... Thanks
Me - 39 W - 33 M - 5yrs Bomb - 8/5 2007 Moving out - 9/8 2007
