Okay. So what you are telling me is... for legitimate reasons, or not... your H does not feel 'safe' expressing himself to you... he doesn't know what he is going to get.
That, btw, does not excuse it. But... it IS much like a kid who knows how to work the parents.... "if I'm GOOD, and that is all they see... then I don't have to deal with..... x, y, z.
Typical Mr. Nice Guy.
However, that does not let you off on your end. You are not creating a safe environment, and I seriously doubt that you are capable of the honesty, yourself, that you expect of him. (Anymore than Mrs. Hairdog says SHE wants). I say this, because... shudder... BTDT. Gawd. i can still do it... not healed, not perfect... but working toward my end goal, kwis?
One cannot fix what one cannot see. That is my only bit of advice to you. And the Radical Honesty Book/Workshop.
