I agree with others here who have written that since you are divorced, you probably shouldn't be having sex with him. There really is no commitment whatsoever and I wouldn't expect one from him until he gives you a ring and sets a date.
I don't know how helpful it is to set boundries when there is no committment. Also, it seems like you keep trying to set them and he keeps ignoring them or bending them. He says he wants a family, but he's not acting like he wants one. If he did he'd marry you tomorrow.
If I were you I wouldn't pursue whatsoever, I'd create a great family, a wonderful place to be, I'd be cordial and friends with him (for the baby's sake), but I wouldn't expect or ask anything from him. And I'd create my own distance to work on me, GAL GAL GAL!!!! It's okay to give a hug and a kiss on the cheek (especially in front of OW!), but I'd think of him more as a friend than anything else.
Create a great family, create a wonderful place to be, create a woman any man would want to be married to, and hopefully he'll eventually be smart enough to realize he'd be an idiot not to embrace you and this great family he could have. And if he's not smart enough, well.... some other guy may eventually come along who does understand this and wisks his family away.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
