Not been on the boards for a couple of weeks and even though i have missed it in one way, it has done me good . I have been able to stand back from my situation and look at the reality of everything and boy it opened my eyes. For the last nearly 14 months i have been living in what seems a fantasy world where nothing seems real, does anyone understand what i mean?, I have come to a point in all of this where i feel that i have let go. 2 weeks ago my husband told me he was so sure of his life and that he was happy and have taken him at his word, i have now accepted the fact that he is with OW with no signs of anything changing.
However things are changing for me , i have a completley new out look on life, my husband has not yet signed the divorce papers but somehow i no longer live in hope that this means something. Also my husband came on Saturday and was heavily flirting which included him layed on top of me kissing me passionatley on the lips and rubbing himself up against me but again i no longer expect anything from this. Friday night my husband text me at 2.45 in the morning, asking a flirty question, i didn't get until next morning because i did not hear my phone but again i no longer read into this.
The reason i know longer read into things is because i was cycling with my emotions all of the time and i just couldn,t do it anymore. I was right though because sure enough after the flirting on Saturday my husband has withdrawn again, this is pretty much how its been since the bomb. I now want more than crumbs, i want the fairytale of romance ;), i think i am now all grown up .
The one thing i am finding hard to cope with is the way all this has affected D3, she is such an angel and does not deserve any of this. I do think that maybe one day it will do her good to have a man about the house again. Even though i cope perfectly fine on my own, i think it will do me good to have a man about the house again as well. So at least i have got to the point of realising that my husband may very well never come back but i w will be open to the idea of possibly having a new relationship.
Overall i feel it has been a productive couple of weeks, in the fact that even though i still love my husband, i can now truly see D3 and i, having a wonderful life , with or without my husband.
Hope everyone is ok
Nicky
Me 34 H 33 D3 together 10 years married 2 years Bomb 22/8/06 (I feel empty) OW involved
Nicky, I don't think i've posted to you before and haven't followed your sitch to closely. I can say that this post speaks volumes.
Quote:
So at least i have got to the point of realising that my husband may very well never come back but i w will be open to the idea of possibly having a new relationship.
Getting a new R going will surely shock his world!!
Gauranteed!
Do whats best for you and whats best for you will follow...
cire
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
You have grown up and you have become a WONDERFUL WOMAN !!!! I am so proud of you !!!
Through this all you have always remained his friend and you have done a great job of it ! I admire you greatly as you know !
Now it's time to live YOUR life !! It's something that I decided to do a while back too !
Of course I have worried about the boundaries that I set, because I stopped all the physical contact that was left...but believe me, it gets us in a better place !
From here on, we will heal and maybe one day be ready for the next relatinship, whether it's with our H or someone else !
I wish you the VERY VERY best !!!! Love you lots xxxxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Getting a new R going will surely shock his world!!
My husband on a few occasions has said that he thinks i should date and that he would be perfectly fine with it, so i am not convinced it would bother him too much. However, i don't think that he could possible know how he would feel about it until it happens.
Nicky
Me 34 H 33 D3 together 10 years married 2 years Bomb 22/8/06 (I feel empty) OW involved
My H said this to me also. He said he was fine with me dating. It didnt bother him If i said something about a guy giving me his phone number.....but I recently found out that one day this guy had drove by our house that wanted to date me and my H and I were in the yard, well this guy whistled out the window at me when he went by....H kinda just laughed it off and said the guy had some ba!!s....Now I have found out from H that he was a little jealous that day. My H has never seen me with another man and I really think it would be a big shock to him if he did see me. I dont think he is prepared for the feelings that may come...
Your H might react the same way....They can say whatever they want, but it's gotta hurt some.
Even my best friend who left her H and is happily with another man now, still says she hated seeing her ex with someone else. Like no one is good enough for him.
I just laugh at her.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
My husband on a few occasions has said that he thinks i should date and that he would be perfectly fine with it, so i am not convinced it would bother him too much. However, i don't think that he could possible know how he would feel about it until it happens.
It would bother him! He's kidding himself.
If it doesn't then... oh wait IT WILL
cire
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
Had quite a busy week with one thing and another. At the weekend D3 and i went to Camalot theme park for my nephews birthday and had a fantastic time . We also met up with some friends the next day at wacky warehouse, D3 and her friend played while we chatted.
Today my husband and i went to visit what will be D3's new school next year, i can't believe it is getting to that time where she will be starting school as it does not seem 2 minuites ago since she was born. Anyway husband and i both liked the school and think that she will like it there.
This weekend D3 and i are going to visit my brother who lives about 6 hours away in the car. We have not seen him and the kids in ages so we are really looking forward to it. It will also be really nice just to get away for a couple of days, away from every day routine.
The last few days my husband has been flirting with me quite a bit but when he came today, absolutley nothing. Then he came back to the house tonight to visit D3 and i honestly felt like i was invisable to him, he treated me like someone he barely knew but to be honest i just let it go over my head. I don't know why he does it (cycling so much) but i am getting use to it now and even expect it. It seemed like he didn't want to be here tonight visiting D3, he was eager to leave.
Anyway, D3 and i are doing fine which is the main thing .
Hope evryone is ok
Nicky
Me 34 H 33 D3 together 10 years married 2 years Bomb 22/8/06 (I feel empty) OW involved
. I have been able to stand back from my situation and look at the reality of everything and boy it opened my eyes. For the last nearly 14 months i have been living in what seems a fantasy world where nothing seems real, does anyone understand what i mean?, I have come to a point in all of this where i feel that i have let go. 2 weeks ago my husband told me he was so sure of his life and that he was happy and have taken him at his word, i have now accepted the fact that he is with OW with no signs of anything changing.
but again i no longer expect anything from this. Friday night my husband text me at 2.45 in the morning, asking a flirty question, i didn't get until next morning because i did not hear my phone but again i no longer read into this.