We all get that, our Ss denying they EVER loved us, my H told me our M was a sham for years and never was happy (much, much later on he admited he was happy). This is not him talking, it is anger, resentment, built up tension, he wants to peg his unhappiness on someone, and the closest person is you. Though you guys might've had the tipical M troubles and both of you prob needed to make some changes and treat each other better you are the wipping pole for now, he's too angry to remember being happy with you, and I bet he was.
As for the kids, try not to cry in front of them, dont' knowwhat they know now but the little one only needs to know that daddy needs to rest and be away for a while, the older one doesn't need to know all the gruesome details, it' s prob hard enought for her to see you suffer. Have your good cry alone and let it out, then get on out there and enjoy those kids, I know that my kids were my driving force in the morning to put a smile on my face when otherwise I'd be sulking in bed.
Right now you are the only responsible parent they got, your H is in la-land right now, so the kids are counting on you, you are their pillar.
Back then (2yrs ago) I told my H that I understood he needed time and he all of a sudden relax a bit, wasn't as angry and didn't seem as negative with me.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
