I might be vigilant, but I can guarantee that it is/was not easy at all.
It took a long time to just get to the point where I was not letting what she was saying or doing affect me. After all this time I think that is what helped me get through it and survive this long. In the beginning anything she said or did would drive me crazy. When I finally got to the point of just ignoring it all and living my own life did I realize nothing I said would change anything. In talking the little we have over the last couple of weeks I have come to understand what Michele means in her books. You have to let them find their own way, anything you do to alter or change the WAS's mind will just screw it up more, or at the very least make it that much longer for them to figure it out. Just doing the 180's and let everything else take care of itself, one of two things will happen, you become a better person for yourself and/or a better person to be with in marriage to your spouse.
I am by no means finished with DB'ing or having gotten my marriage back, but I do think I/we are on the right track now.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
