Down and out...need hope.

[DownNotOut...yet]

Heard the one about the gifts too. The spa idea is not bad. Is your wife and "acts of service" girl by any chance? You could wash her car or do something like that for her. It sounds unromantic but that is kind of the idea. Romantic or heavy themed gifts are not good now. Something light, or useful might be better.

Tell us some more of this weekend kid sharing plan. The way you are describing it sounds like a seperation agreement. That's not what you are saying is it?

How about taking the kids out some other times? How old are your kids? Does your wife work? I found that taking the kids out for a whole Saturday OR on a weekday, taking the kids out to McDonald's playland as soon as I got home, feeding them there, letting them play and then getting them home, ready and off to bed, made a huge difference in wife's attitude. If your wife is stay at home or is burnt on kids, you might want to try taking them off her hands totally for a night. The silence and decompression of a kidless, husbandless night can work wonders for a mom/wife. If it goes over well, you could make a once a week thing. Only caveat with this is, you don't want to make it like you are trying to win over or take the kids from her to spite her. Hopefully she will get you are trying to give space.

Find a solutions based therapist. Or at least a pro-marriage therapist. There are angry, divorced, abused therapists out there. More than you think there would be. You want to avoid paying $75/hours to a person to help wreck your marriage. Heck, most of us dumb guys can do that for free.