Thanks Dom, I appreciate that. The thing about FM that is so strange and that people don't understand (which is reasonable), is that I can be better for maybe two days and then the bottom falls out. I never know from one day to the next. This is one of those conditions that don't get better with time or anything like that. I can't really make plans....oh, I do, but I never know if I can't carry those plans through or not b/c of my health problems. I know people don't understand and I shouldn't get upset when they don't, but I was just having a really bad night. Last Sunday, if there had been a wedding in the family....I would not have been able to attend....that is how bad it was. Last year, I think I missed every birthday and holiday that came along. The only thing I got to attend was my granddaughter's dance recital. But, I missed her kindergarten graduation. That may sound important to some folks, but to a five year-old....it's important that grandma is there.
As Chrome said, I just need to talk it out sometimes. If I could get past feeling "guilty" and that I am letting people down all the time, I think it would help me a lot. But, that is hard to do. I have seriously considered resigning my positions/jobs at the church, but I know that would disappoint a lot of folks too, so I don't know what to do. Not that I am irreplacable, by any means, but some of the things I do....would just go undone b/c nobody else would do it. (long story) Somebody could do it, but more than likey....they wouldn't b/c I tried it once before and it just went undone. I have three (what I consider)"important" jobs and I'm on a couple of committees. That is pretty much my life and that is why I have clung to it b/c if I don't have that.....well, then I don't have much of a life at all. Lordy, I'm stopping before I get to sounding pathetic again.
Anyway, I understand what you are saying about the energy and the working on the MR, etc. I really do. I was just being too sensitive last night.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
