About 3 weeks ago my wife broke it off with the OM. While this was positive i think it was premature for her. She didn't really want to break it off with him, but she realized that if she still had feelings for me and was sleeping with me, that she needed to figure things out. Also she realized that her life going forward with him would be really difficult and maybe not all that she wants.
We continued to see our counselor during this time, and he warned us to take it slow. During this time we went out a few times, had really great sex, and connected a very small amount.
Problems started again around 1 week ago.. She just can't seem to end it for real with the OM. She 'misses him', and 'doesn't feel the same way about me'.
So 2 nights ago i confronted her, and asked her if she was still talking to him. She said 'yes', and she is crazy about him. She admits we have no real problems together, and in a lot of ways are great together, she just doesn't feel like 'reaching out to me' and that she feels that strongly for him.
Basically all the steps we took moving forward are wiped clean again. I blame myself for not giving her enough space. So right now I'm not sure what to do. Part of me says 'enoughs enough' and makes me want to just move on. It just drives me crazy that there is so much about us that is good. And i know that given a different circumstance those feelings for eachother can grow given time..
Maybe i'm wrong.
anyways, we have a meeting with our counselor on wed. these meetings are usually positive, and in the last one he recommended a personal counselor for my wife, i don't think she has met with her though. I'm considering asking her to at least talk to her counselor a few times before rushing back into anything with OM, or giving up on us. I know this is probably a bad idea, but after all the positives we've experienced i just can't see giving up right now.
