Well seven days since my last post and for good reason, it seems it's all falling apart again. Sure she missed the girls while she was away and maybe even missed me a slight bit but she came back with it seems more resolve that we can only be friends. She doesn't want to work on be think we can be anything else. This all from last Wednesday's lunch and conversations. She said to me during lunch that she had wanted me to be that patriarch of the family and provide for the family. That ultimately this came down to financial and how she didn't want to be the primary provider for the family. How she wants to be a much more involved Mom and is upset by my heavy involvement with our girls. She feels I rub it in her face. Shoot I tell her about stuff because I WANT her involved and I told her this. She reiterated the financial aspect of the situation again and also how she didn't see any change in me about it.
So that night I decided I'd do something very out of the ordinary. I went to the house unannounced, checkbooks in hand. I told her that because she said it all started financially with her and that we have both short term and long term financial issues to address I was here checkbook in hand to start taking care of the short term and work towards the long term. Her response, "we're fine" in a very dismissive tone. A long conversation in sued and she again said all she wanted was to be friends our marriage is over and I need to accept it. I accept the old one is over. I've worked on issues related to me and feel we can build something new and great together. I do not under any circumstances want the old one back I felt like [censored] all to often.
So there she finally began to share her real feelings, she wants to move on without me but thinks we can be good friends. She wants me to move on without her. She also doesn't think our girls are really suffering and are fine yet is unwilling to talk with them about their feelings.
So once again I step back but I am still committed.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
