Cat, As always, I enjoy your visits to my dank thread.
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I dare to think that not drinking has brought more positive things that you can think of now, you are taking care of your body and keeping it healthy, that's a biggie for me.
Strangely, I am just about as ill as when I was drinking...maybe more. This is something I brought up during a meeting...I am more forgetful, raw and disorganized than when I was drinking..Go figure! The cleansing is most likely inward, my insides are probably thankful.
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About your W feeling bad about herself, do you compliment her often? we women need to hear it constantly, how nice we look, how pretty we are in such and such outfit. I don't think I've ever look this nice since college, but I dont' feel pretty because my H doesnt' say so, other people do, I get attention elsewhere, but not from my H and that's what really counts for me.
I do compliment her often or at least I think so. I think the problem with this is, that when a person gets so ingrained with a thought of not being pleasing to the eye to themselves to such an extent, that portion of them fails or is unable to listen from some people. Like turning them off... example(oh, he is my husband, he is supposed to say that). I think what you wrote (I get attention elsewhere) can be a very dangerous thought. I dont mind her getting attention elsewhere but when that PARTICULAR aspect gets satisfied elsewhere only trouble can ensue or most likely will. I don't want it to get to that point AGAIN...been there and done that. I really believe that this is something that I cannot aide in...just be there to support.
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I guess your W wasn't ready for the answer you gave her, I 'm guilty of that, I want honesty but when H doesn't say what "I want to to hear" then I get upset, I have to learn to listen and not condemn or store it for later brooding.
This is true...so very true. I dont want to hurt anyones feelings and life is so personal as it is...sometimes it just helps to be clinical...just get the situation down and move from there....I am highly emotional and that tends to cloud the water of life most often with me.
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OK, I have to ask, how old is the little one? months old? because there is no earthly reason for a kid to be in the parents bed after 3mths old. If this is still the case, get a pretty neat bed for the kid, offer to go sleep near him/her at the beginning so she/he can get used to the bed and like it.
The little one will be 3 this jan. I agree wholeheartingly with this. It is a sore spot with me. I never had problems with my oldest s. Once in awhile he would sleep with me but it was more like once a week if that. My w son (11) had problems with him in this ...he still wanted to sleep in the same bed when he was 9...I really wasnt so keen on that and made enough of a stink about it to finally ween him from that. As far as the little one he does have a bed and my W and I have decided that we will ween him as well...I really think that will make a big difference in our R.
Again, Cat thanks for peering in! I will answer Aud and fender later today when I can take some more time...peace
