You're making progress. You might not be able to admit that, but it's true.
You know the old DB philosophy of trying new things, and observing the outcome. Quit doing the things that generate a negative response and do more of the things that generate a positive response.
With that in mind: You took this action:
Quote:
Finally I said it "S14 and I both thought you meant you'd build the addition so we can come home".
AND THAT ACTION GENERATED THIS RESPONSE:
Quote:
He got very close to me. He kissed me several times. One time he was leaning over hugging me and I grabbed him by the back of his head and just planted one on him like I know I haven't done in years. We had a pretty good make-out session and had the kids not been nearby, we'd have hit it out of the park if you know what I'm saying.
Well dang, what da ya know.
Lets think about this a little. You left him, dumped him cold. The reason is not important, for him, there was no reason that could have been THAT important. Anyway, he got trashed, big time. You were gone, gone for good, and not very nice about it at that. So maybe he had a little talk with the Lord above and prayed for the strength to move on without you, and to protect himself from ever being trashed like that again. Maybe he promised myself to NEVER allow myself to be put in that position again. And so it goes......
Then all of a sudden YOU wake up. You realize what you've done, and you come back around. You say you're sorry, that you won't do it again, and then you want your key back. Simple as that. Problem is, he still remembers the pain, and the promise that he made himself to NEVER allow himself to be trashed again. So screw the world, he doesn't need a woman, he doesn't need anyone. Just him, his God, his dog, and his beer. That's just about okay for most men by the way.
But there's no man that can resist the love of a woman. For a man to know that you want him, you need him, you'd do anything for him is huge. There's no bigger slap in the face than to have another, and there's no bigger embrace than to show how you need him and want him.
He needs to hear your words AmyC. He won't let you back in, unless he is sure, absolutely sure, of your undying, complete, and lifetime commitment to HIM. He needs to be wanted, needed, and desired, but he also needs to see you humble, and vulnerable. Just like the other night.
God Bless,
COG
When I read your post last night, COG, I knew I just wasn't receiving it well so I didn't reply. I feel very vulnerable right now after Jeff tapping into so much that I keep locked down - especially the church/faith stuff and the thing about the addition. Thank you, COG.
No need to worry about me being still though guys. I can't move at all.
I do see all the positives from the other night.
I just don't know that I can keep this up endlessly.
After all, look how long it took to get here...
I just don't have the strength I had in the beginning of my stand.
