All hope is lost/help

[cat03]

funny thing, this past quarter's study was titled "for better or worse: couples in the bilble" and boy, did it come right on time! all sorts of lessons about infidelity, forgiveness, last weeks was about Hosea and Gomer, how he took back his adulterous wife, the Lord talks to us in so many ways.

This new study guide/quarterly also comes right on time, it's called "the refiner's fire" about the trials and tribulations one is bound to go through in this life, can't wait to get started on it.

Again honey, you need to think very well who you talk to about your situation, some people might have the best interests at heart for you but might give you the wrong advice if they have never walk in your shoes.

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I was making things to easy for him to stay at home...
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What's the alternative? kick him out? ask yourself, is this what you really want to do?
no?
I didn't think so either. You married him for better and for worse and right now you are doing all that is humanly possible to stick to your vows and to save your marriage and keep your family together. At some point, (which I dont' think you are near) there is a limit, one decides to stop fighting. But, your stich is so fresh that I wouldn't even think of giving up just yet. Only you can decide when enough is enough.
Right now your H is deciding what to do, he needs some space, try and do this. I'm sure it took him a while to come up with the dreaded ILYBNILWY, so he needs as much time to sort himself out.

My cousing always told me when my H was out of the house "be the woman he could be coming home to", and by doing this I also became a better person, for ME, I learned to be in charge of my happiness and to detach from my H's rollercoaster.

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I hear what your saying about the hugs, but i thought maybe it would make him/us feel better?
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Women like to be hugged and feel affection when they feel bad, that's what WE like, but that's not necesarily what men want when they feel bad, they need space. I remember when my H hit rock bottom while we were S, and I hugged him, felt like hugging a stone, I was trying to make him feel better but prob he felt worse by the fact that he couldnt' hug me back and had no affection to give me.