new here and really worried

[GoodGuy]

Lost,
Gone Dancin' hit the nail on the head. Re-read his post, then read it again until it has sunk in deeply. It is not a competition, you did start all of this for whatever reasons. I have some selfish issues of my own, and it is very obvious you do too.
Leave him alone, let him miss you, he feels like the LBS because he is! He would have carried on in the marriage with you forever, you jumped ship and he is afraid to get back onboard with you, give it time, be very nice to him, kind, no pressure, no questions, look your best, go to the gym, eat sensibly, do something different, change your hair style, wear a dress, you get the idea. He may take notice, he will miss the good times, the OW is new, she will show her other side, believe me.

Time does make it easier, we are all here for you, as you feel better, you will start to help others who hurt more than you, it's a cycle we all go through, but it will get better.
Good luck.