I saw your early bird post today, and just thought I'd chime in.
My T said something two years ago that really seems to apply here: she doesn't believe in pure motives. We don't operate from pure motives, nor do our spouses. This seems so freeing to me. If you are operating from largely a good motive--to move D toward a better R with her mother--then don't waste too much space worrying about the rest of your motives. And don't worry about W's motives at all!
