Yes, but you made choices to reach the compromise you have. Change the relative importance of things, and you'll see that CAC could be flying, but not without cost. For example, if you went back to work and gave up being a SAHM, or if you moved to the midwest where the cost of living in general and cost of housing in particular is far lower than it is in Massachusetts then you'd have more disposable income to put toward his flying. Yes, I understand that his particular career field might not have as many opportunities, but then he could also change his career focus to something that is more viable in cheaper parts of the country. We've toyed with moving out of the Northeast as well to increase our disposible income. See, it is all about the choices you make and the relative importance you put on your goals. I stand by my assertion that if flying was important enough to CAC, he'd find a way to make it happen. Other things compete for the top spots obviously, so it comes down to what is most important to him.
PS, I've gotcha beat. Our vehicles are a 2000 minivan and a 1995 Taurus, and we've taken only 2 vacations since we got married, 1 was our honeymoon which was at epcot/disney, the other was a weekend in the Bahamas before S17 was conceived that we got for practically nothing because the couple we went with was checking the place out for a travel agency and it was hurricane season. All our other "vacations" have been visits to my parent's house.
MrsCAC, this wasn't meant as a personal attack, and I certainly didn't intend to insult you or CAC. What set me off was CAC's comment that one has to be "extremely wealthy" to be able to fly. That is a commonly held belief that has little basis in fact. Most of the pilots I know are not in the top 20% income. The fact is, you can fly with a very middle class income provided you are willing to sacrifice in other areas to make it happen. I only listed those particular things because they are what many of the people I come across who ask how I can afford to fly spend their money on.
One of the thread titles from cac when we gnawed on this subject ad infinitum last year was: "Please no more suggestions re: flying!"
that was a good idea then, and its an even better one now.
This will be my final post on the subject.
You people simply do not listen.
What I lost was not the ability to fly small airplanes. What I lost was the big time. large, multi-engine, turbine powered aircraft of the sort that is only flown by those who can obtain a class 1 medical certificate. military/commercial/airline, etc.
this was not a choice.
it is ~gone~.
It ain't coming back.
ever.
I am not blaming my son. and GOD DAMN YOU for saying that. I can't even THINK of appropriate cuss-words to respond to that. Thats gotta be about the worst thing anyone has ever said to me. Why don't you go take some more zoloft? do me a favor, and take the whole fcuking bottle, ok? What a rotten thing to say! and you've been in "therapy" for how many years? guess what, honey. it hasn't done you a bit of fcuking good.
this happened 15 years before he was on the scene. what a ridiculous statement!
I did the piper cub thing. I got my ticket in 1982, on my 17th birthday. I know what it costs. My dad has owned airplanes...I know what THAT costs. I also know what 6 kids, private school, and 14gph represents. (Bonanza? 210? ) But apparently, one has to go to music school to learn how to do math. dude, it means I make a tiny fraction of what you do. and that's fine, and good for you; I'm sure you earned every penny. And good luck to your son. I was one of those kids...and you know what? it WAS a whole lot easier to come up w/ flying money then than it is now. (champ: 4gph, auto-gas, ~1$/gallon in '80). Last time I checked they were about $100/hr. I could move to Kansas and come up with a few bucks, maybe. But for what? a little bit of amusement? that is all it would be. It wouldn't fill any gaping hole in my life. Because again:
that is not what I lost.
did I mention that life insurance doesn't cover this sort of flying? did I mention that I can't just go buy life insurance with this heart condition? renter's insurance, without a medical certificate? are you kidding?? none of that is a choice. I have responsibilities, dammit. But mostly, I'll say it again: for what?? nothing more than a few hours of amusement.
This whole thread just underscores my previous assertion of the frivolity of discussing this, or anything like it, with anyone, ever. I won't make that mistake again.
I was not around for previous discussions. I did not mean to insinuate you had a choice to do what you had intended to with your life. I just meant that you had a choice of what to do after your dream was ended. I do not get the feeling that you regret any of those choices after. I just believe that you regret being robbed of the opportunity to do what you had planned to do. I also assume that with the issues I've heard with your parents you were not equipped to deal with the idea of mourning that loss appropriately. It's just a guess...
I do not blame you for not wanting to discuss it further here but I do hope you will continue to talk with your wife.
You are a good man, a good husband and a good father. Those are incredibly important things.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
Lil and Hairdog, a belated 5768 Yom Kippur, 2007-09-21 2007-09-22 to both of you.
Lil No more coffee for anyone today!! Sorry, too late with the warning Lil. I think I have been civil here today. I just finished a cup of "International Delight"
GGB if you went back to work and gave up being a SAHM, or if you moved to the Midwest where the cost of living in general and cost of housing in particular is far lower than it is in Massachusetts then you'd have more disposable income to put toward his flying. Midwest or mountain west?? Well some of those places also have lower wages, are not close to family for some people.
When I had to give up auto mechanicing, I was advised to move to Boston because the pay was higher there for less strenuous jobs. I decided against a move considering all of the extra costs. Moving cost include more than money.
Cac have responsibilities, dammit. But mostly, I'll say it again: for what?? nothing more than a few hours of amusement Cac, I understand what you are saying. The Family’s well-being is first. ^5 to you.
I am really disappointed in the downturn of this thread today. This was not what I expected at all.
Corri approached cac to try to "help" him explore his feelings about the loss of his anticipated flying career, he agreed to go for it, and started talking. Talking about his feelings is very hard for him as you know, if you've been around here for any length of time. We've got a self-professed dismissive-avoidant who retreats to his bat cave at the first sign of conflict.
And what happens? After he tries to communicate his thoughts and feelings, he's called an azzhole, he's told he's throwing a big pity party, he's accused of blaming other people for his own unhappiness, he is given a bunch of advice that he not only did not ask for, but which is not relevant to the topic at hand. Not a wise move with someone who avoids talking in the first place.
What was all that supposed to accomplish? Why does anyone think that provoking someone is productive?
Everyone was so busy trying to fix the perceived problem of getting cac back into flying (which isn't even the real problem), that they didn't actually hear what he was saying, even though he kept saying it. *shakes head*
Fearless -- I agree with your last posts, for the most part. And no worries, Lou.
I will agree that I am a bit bewildered at how the conversation turned. Like I said to cac earlier, the regret he feels at his loss is understandable, and if he wants to have a pity party every now and then ... so what? I'm not going to fault him for it. As long as it isn't a CONSTANT source of hurt or pain that negatively impacts his entire life, his marriage, his R with his kids, who cares? Granted, pity parties are not the ideal state to be in, but neither is sitting on the couch watching a brainless romance movie eating a tub of ice cream. But sometimes yah gotta do what yah gotta do.
Everyone has something that they regret, some have had that regret forced upon them. Many take it out on their kids. It doesn't sound like cac is doing that, in fact quite the opposite. And while he may be having problems in his M, it sounds like there has been some improvement there too.
Then again, maybe I'm missing something here, which wouldn't be a big suprise.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
