I was thinking about what you said about how your H feels guilty and remorseful, but stops short of apologizing. My husband took a long time to get to the apology too. First he blamed the affair on me, and spent quite a bit of time trying to convince me that I was culpable. When that didn't work, and I had a books to bolster my side of the argument, then he expressed remorse over hurting me. It was not until we were at Retrouvaille and the assignment was to write about what we needed to be forgiven for, and then to ask the spouse for their forgiveness, that I finally got the real thing -- an apology. Some people have a very hard time admitting they are wrong and asking for forgiveness. My husband is one of those people.
