Sandi2 I know how I must sound to everyone on the board. I sound like I am just not trying and if I would only put a little effort into my M then it would all be fine.
Try this on for size Sandi. Am EA gives you or anyone else in that state enough "feel good chemicals" to do more things. Being depressed saps the "happy chemicals" that is what I hear. Not so much you should try harder.
I hear if you somehow were to get excited about some improvement in your M, maybe some of those "feel good/hopefulness chemicals" might reduce some symptoms you have.
The trick is how does a person with a situation like yours become up-beat enough to get a few of those hopeful/feel good chemicals flowing.
Some times trying things to see if they work, works. Sometimes trying things and failing drags a person down. You be the judge of what to try.
BTW, if I am interested in sex enough my back doesn't hurt much. During sex it doesn't bother me much. A day later, well sometimes I am fine, other times I feel the aches. What I am saying the buzz and anticipation about doing something that feels good or exciting somehow supresses the minor symptoms I have. I suppose the EA functioned simillarly for you.
I have been sick the past two week-ends straight and the people at church that depend on me for certain jobs have been let down b/c I wasn't there to do my job. That depresses me and drains the energy even more. Sounds like you need to take better care of Sandi.
I think if you could look at a review of your life (birth to death) you might do a few things differently.
Is serving the church is draining you in some way, what is wrong with working on improving Sandi's health?
Sandi, are you a human doing (mostly valued for what you do for others) or a human being (a person that has value)?
