new here and really worried

[dadtotwo]

littlebitlost..Glad you are here and seeking some advice and support. I must agree that your post is very enlightening since many of us here have a WAS. What I am trying to understand is whether you shut down and made the choice to not love your H?

All I know is that a W wants a H she can depend on and be there for her. Yet, you have indicated that your H was always there for you and then you felt the need to leave!! Why not go to IC first before making such a drastic move and hurting the man who seems to have been a "giver".

I could only wish that my W wanted to make things work as much as you do but our sitch's are all different. Your need for independence has come at a great price to the H that loved you. You need to be patient and give him the opportunity to get to a place where he can decide where his heart belongs.

I know firsthand the pain he was experiencing. Being a LBS is so emotionally hurtful and at some point we just learn to accept the pain and go numb. He may or may not choose to give your M another try. I hope that he will really think about it because your marriage may turn out to be stronger if he was to try it again.

You have a unique opportunity to be seeing your M from both a WAW and a LBS(sort of). Consider this viewing to be a gift that will teach you more lessons about yourself and your M than you will learn in a lifetime.