I can't remember

[MJontheMend]

Let’s say you go out on a date with a guy for the first time. You two hardly know each other. You go to a party given my mutual friends. He doesn’t know what you like to drink. He doesn’t know you have a weakness for New York Cheesecake. He doesn’t know that you love to hear football stories, AND a rehash of last night’s episode of Leno. So being with him is like being with a stranger, because he is a stranger. He doesn’t stand with his arm around you or signal you with his eyes that he’s ready to go.

BUT after dating this guy for years, AND possibly marrying him, when you go to a party, he still doesn’t put his arm around you. He stands around talking football and Leno and ignores you. He honestly doesn’t seem to register that Look from you that says you’re ready to go. It’s like you haven’t built up any common ground. Well, that’s too categorical a way of putting it… there’s some common ground, but it’s still a lot like being out with someone you’ve just met, instead of someone who supposedly knows you well.

This might be a bit of a pointless hijack but I have talked to GP for about 10 hours now about relationships. He used an example much like the one you describe above to explain how he thinks conflict resolution should happen in a relationship. He said his expectation would be that if we were at a party and anything he did made me uncomfortable, I should just tell him right away and he would say "Baby, I'm sorry you're upset and I promise you we will discuss and resolve this issue as soon as we leave the party so you just relax and let's have a good time." and then he would live up to his promise and discuss the issue as soon as we hit the car until it was resolved in a manner that left neither of us feeling like the "loser" so we could go to bed not angry - lol. (Yes, I am apparently already in an imaginary relationship with a man I haven't even kissed. He's pretty much worked out all the details. I just have to show up in high heels. It's quite relaxing.)