Is it time to cut him off?

[Dom R]

Regarding feeling like he is backing me into a plan B--you are right, it would be my CHOICE. Good call on your part. I think that if I am going to show any self-respect, I will be forced into it.

Sounds like you're still not getting it :-P
If you're talking "plan B from marriagebuilders", what you're saying doesnt go together.

In contrast, however, his repetition of claimng to "need to miss you", is incredibly frustrating, and I understand that you want to give him "what he is asking for", and he's got it coming to him. That's still not "forced", though. You're abusing the word, to absolve yourself of responsability, methinks.

He says that he doesn't want to "lead me on" and that he doesn't have any idea if we will end up together. (I don't actually think the odds are in my favor.) He also said that if 'this is too hard' for me, then I can let him know.

"In the old days", i've heard it said, that people still went through "mid life crises"... but they STAYED MARRIED. The schmuck/schmuckette went through all their backflips... meanwhile, the other spouse just hunkered down, until they finally got over it.

reguardless of what your own personal schmucky says... you still have a choice. You have a choice of keeping him company through it, or being confrontational about it, and/or of shutting him out of your life until he "really misses you".

Your choice, I'm guessing, will probably determine the tenor of your relationship from then on.
The culture these days would probably encourage you, "confront! stand up for yourself! " yadda yadda yadda.
There's something to be said about that.. if that is what you value. Or, you can go the other way.

Think about this... if EITHER way led to him coming back... which way would you choose?


That "too hard for him" comment, is bizzare. What's suposed to be hard here?
I think he's getting cold feet again, and maybe he's testing you, and/or looking to get "off the hook" himself. if you give up, then "it's not his fault".


Reguardless about what he SAYS, about himself, and about you, blah blah blah... you always have a choice about what YOU are going to do. Whether you are going to remain open to him, and how much.

In some ways, it doesnt matter that he said that he thinks he "needs to miss you". If he really meant it, he would just not talk to you any more, wouldnt he?

He's being a baby again, sounds like.

Maybe it's time for you to talk to him, and see if he'll behave more like a man.

Not neccessarily by confronting him and telling him "BE A MAN, you WIMP!!"
[although i personally would love to know the outcome of that one ]
But by treating him as an adult, and seeing if he responds appropriately.

ie: by bringing up your assumptions aobut talking during the week. and/or just saying, you like talking to him, and just talking during the weekends seems a bit silly to you, particularly since you are "dating".


ORRRRR... you could just give him more "space" for another few weeks, then hit him up with a hard "make your decision" in another 6(?)

I still say: give him everything (positive) you have, until the end of 3 months.
Ignore his spew about "needing to miss you". Show him that you ARE attached to him, and value your time with him, without being "clingy".

When the 3 months come to an end... HE'll KNOW what he is about to lose by then. He wont need to live as a hermit, to understand that.

I think that, contrary to how you feel.. the odds are actually WITH you, if you give him another solid month+ of postive time together.

(he may need to do his stupid florida trip by himself, though. Dont get discouraged by that, if it happens)



aaanyways.. that's still my take on it.


as for my situation... well, I dont want to comment on it, becuaser as I said, every time I do.. kablooie, and last time was no exception.

we'll see how the weekend goes, I guess.
[urk.. resisting the urge to write lots of innuendo about it.. haha. it's been a few weeks, and I'm a very "pent-up" Dommie...miss being with her.]